“Ma Hair, It Don’t Move”: Gorilla Glue Girl Drops New Single

Just when you thought it was finished, Gorilla Glue Girl is back. Tessica Brown was the first major meme of 2021, and now she is looking to end the year strong making her foray into music. Brown is going to detail her insane year in the aptly titled track, “Ma Hair”, dropping this Friday. Brown was hoping to get a big feature on it, but apparently did not get a call back from her dream feature Nicki Minaj.

Tessica Brown kicked off her year in hair hell. She took to her tiktok to let what was then only her close friends know that she’d accidentally glued her hair to her scalp. She had run out of her go to hair gel and opted to use some Gorilla Glue instead.

In the clip, she said “Hey, y’all. For those of you that know me know that my hair has been like this for about a month now. It’s not by choice. No, it’s not by choice,” she said in the video as she taps her head with her fingernails. “When I do my hair, I like to finish it off with a little Göt2b Glued Spray, you know, just to keep it in place. Well, I didn’t have any more göt2b Glued Spray, so I used this: Gorilla Glue spray. Bad, bad, bad idea.”

She captioned the video, “Stiff where????? Ma hair 🤬🤬” Gorilla Glue spray is a heavy-duty glue intended for hard surfaces such as wood, stone, foam, metal and glass. It is not intended for use on human skin or hair. “Y’all, look, my hair, it don’t move. You hear what I’m telling you? It don’t move,” Brown said, sounding terrified. She explains that she’s tried to wash her hair with shampoo a total of fifteen times but the outcome was the same.

She eventually went viral with the whole world tuning in to see if she was able to free herself. Unfortunately nothing worked, and she eventually started a GoFundMe to assist her in finding medical attention. Gorilla Glue caught wind of the video. They issued a statement around the time the fiasco happened letting people know not to try the same thing. “Hi there, we are sorry to learn about your experience. We do not recommend using our products in hair as they are considered permanent. You can try soaking the affected area in warm, soapy water or applying rubbing alcohol to the area.”

Brown found a savior in Beverly Hills based doctor Dr. Michael Obeng. He offered to do the procedure for free despite Brown raising over 10k on GoFundMe. “Surgery went well,” Obeng said in a report to New York Post around that time. “She had a lot of irritation on the scalp, especially the edges of her head because of all the chemicals.”  Obeng added that Brown was “very, very lucky that she did not sustain a lot of injuries to her scalp. This type of ordeal is no joke.”

Obeng would go on to save her life a second time following the hair mess. Brown went to him to get a “mommy makeover”, but before they could do it Obeng discovered a lump in her breasts. He was able to remove them both. Brown got pregnant shortly afterwards after reuniting with an old flame and postponed her mommy makeover. She did manage to get a new set of teeth though.

Tessica was smart too, she locked in great management early on that kept her on TMZ and other major new sites. She signed with Gitoni, a talent agency whose roster also includes Blac Chyna, Lamar Odom, and Tommy Lee. They specialize in product placement, marketing, celebrity management and casting for both scripted and reality television. She also made a ton of money off merchandise. She sold several shirts with her likeness on them and also started peddling hair products too. Her “Forever Hair” hair care line featured products ranging from a $14 “Forever Hold” gel designed to keep hair firmly in place without the sticky side effects of Gorilla Glue.

Her latest product? Music. “‘MA HAIR’drops 11/19@ midnight on all platforms” she says in an updated Tiktok bio. She recorded it in Hollywood with local producer Phil Valley last month. The song is set to sample her viral video and verses from the 40 year old mom. It appears she was hoping to get a feature from Nicki Minaj but the “Super Bass” hitmaker did not return her calls. Browns team felt that Nicki might be interested after mentioning Brown on her single “Fractions” earlier this year.

About John Davidson

John Davidson is a California native who enjoys hip hop music, skiing and traveling international. Davidson graduated from USC majoring in Journalism.

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