Depending on who you ask, the partner that you choose to marry should definitely be someone that you consider to be your best friend. When on the path to finding your “better half” one can only achieve this if the intention is to properly get to know the person. Upon establishing a friendship, the relationship will have more legs to run the course to forever, according to some. But according to Wayne Brady, that concept is all wrong. Actor and comedian Wayne Brady offered his take on relationships in an interview with Us Weekly. The “Let’s Make A Deal” game show host brings light to the fact that women are often encouraged that women should “marry your best friend.”
“It’s so good to always find that person. He’s your best friend and you guys can do anything,” Wayne Brady mimics those who share that narrative. But Brady feels as though this thought process is wrong and states that you are “best friends for a reason. Then [when you get married], everything has this super pressure on it that it didn’t when you’re best friends.” Brady has been married and divorced twice. And although his marriage to his second wife dancer Mandie Taketa failed, he insists that they are very close friends.
While this narrative may work for Wayne Brady, perhaps it was because in his relationships he is not able to decode being friends with your lover. Obviously, to reach that with your partner you have to achieve a level of genuine openness and communication, honestly, and loyalty. Research from Jeremy Nicholson, Ph. D. for Psychology Today shows that in order to have a successful relationship with your best friend, you have to find the balance to increase and maintain a mutual liking of one another. You need to acquire “both liking and wanting” to have a balanced relationship
“Building a friendship can sometimes fizzle passion while sparking desire can sometimes lead to resentment,” Nicholson writes. “Therefore, successful relationships balance anticipation with satisfaction and wanting with liking.” This concept of finding that middle ground in your friendship and relationship has been depicted in many films in Hollywood. Films like 2002’s Brown Sugar starring Sanaa Lathan and Taye Diggs are a perfect example where two childhood friends with many similarities (and differences) would soon find that their fate was inescapable.
The 2011 film Friends With Benefits, starring Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, also told a tale of two people who develop a very close friendship. This soon becomes physical once they discover a common ground between them, but the idea of being friends with benefits becomes threatened when inevitable feelings developed between the two.
The concept of having a healthy relationship that is based on a solid friendship is not lost in real life. Couples like Stevie J and Faith Evans began their path to marriage after years and years of friendship. During their being friends and prior to being married, the two dated others and maintained their love for one another as friends. That is until it was too hard to mask that real feelings were able to creep in. Since then, the couple has been able to maneuver through whatever may threaten their relationship and marriage.
